


The Art of Losing Isn’t Hard to Master

by Fangirl_on_fire



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Gore, Happy Ending, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt No Comfort, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Langst, M/M, Major Character Injury, Reunions, a lot of violence in the injury part, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 08:30:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13267608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirl_on_fire/pseuds/Fangirl_on_fire
Summary: For as long as Lance could remember being with them, the team had ignored him, been rude to him, called him a failure, rebuffed every attempt he made to connect with them. But it didn't really matter.(After all, they were right)And soon enough, they would have to realize that he wasn't as bad as they thought he was and they would treat him better, right?(Wrong)And the team doesn't realize how wrong they were until it's too late.





	1. Chapter 1

 

_The art of losing isn’t hard to master;_

_so many things seem filled with the intent_

_to be lost that their loss is no disaster._

_-_

As Lance walked into the room, he noticed that the other paladins were sat in a corner, discussing something. For a second, he wondered why they didn’t call him, but he ignored the thought.

“Hey, everyone!” He called out cheerfully, smiling widely. “Did you miss me?”

“Not the time to be joking around, Lance. We’re discussing something important here,” Pidge said, her voice serious and tinged with irritation.

“What happened?” Lance frowned and strode closer, taking a quick glance outside at the empty expanse of space. They ignored him and continued talking in low voices. “Guys, mind telling me what’s going on?”

“Lance, just leave it.” Shiro’s normally calm face was etched with lines of worry.

Lance huffed and leaned over Keith’s shoulder, trying to see what they were looking at. Allura gave Lance a mild look of distaste, but Keith didn’t protest. They were looking at a large map with several points plotted on it, and there were several smaller dots moving around on the holographic surface. “Is that the Galra?”

“We think we know where their next points of attack will be,” Keith said when everyone else failed to reply, looking at Lance and then quickly looking back at the map. “We’re thinking of what to do about it.”

“Well, we should probably just go stop them, right?” Lance pointed out.

Pidge made an annoyed sound. “Can’t you see that they’re attacking many different places at once? It’s easy to say we should ‘just go stop them’, but how?”

“I’m just trying to be helpful,” Lance muttered, stepping away and going to sit on the sofa, crossing his long legs. Recently, the team had been treating him differently, or maybe he had just begun noticing it now. Somehow, they seemed colder, more indifferent to his presence. They always seemed to be irritated by him, and Lance didn’t know what he was doing wrong.

He had stopped flirting with Allura a long time ago, but she still sighed in frustration and told him to go away whenever he opened his mouth to speak to her. He was trying to be more helpful, but Hunk and Pidge always waved him away whenever he went to help them. Even Hunk, who he had been friends with forever.

Keith seemed to have a soft spot for him, but his behavior towards Lance was wildly unpredictable. One day, Keith would be nice to Lance and talk to him, but the next day he would ignore him and shrug off any attempts Lance made to speak to him. It only hurt Lance more since the day Lance had realized that he was in love with Keith.

But he had no time to focus on that when the entire team was rebuffing his affections day after day, not only Keith.

Lance shook himself out of his thoughts as Keith sat next to him on the couch, and he turned to face Keith. “So, what did we decide?”

“Weren’t you listening?” Pidge interrupted, narrowing her eyes. When Lance tried to defend himself, she cut him off. “Don’t bother. We’re going to go protect the planet at the center of all the attacks. Suit up.”

Ten minutes later, they were all ready in their lions, and they shot off towards their target planet. From afar, the planet almost looked like Earth, and Lance was hit with a sudden wave of homesickness. He missed his family and his home so much. He missed the long stretches of yellow sand under the blue skies, he missed the waving green trees and the beautiful patches of multi-colored flowers, and he missed the sea, the shallow, turquoise waters. He missed the rain, falling from the stars.

Most of all, he missed his family. He missed holding his little sister’s hand as he walked her to school, he missed laughing with his brothers when one of them tripped over a rock or something, and he missed how his sisters would always come to him whenever they needed advice.

As he delved into thought, he didn’t notice his lion swing sideways and nearly crash into Allura’s lion.

_“Watch it, Lance!”_ Allura yelled out over the coms, and Lance wanted to slap himself. _“Keep your eyes open!”_

_“Sorry. I kind of got distracted,”_ He tried to say.

_“As always,”_ Pidge put in under her breath, and Lance wondered what he did to make her suddenly hate him so much. He didn’t have any more time to think because suddenly an army of Galra ships was surrounding them, and then they were in battle.

The Galra’s technology seemed to be more developed then ever, and the paladins could barely keep up with them. They were all spread out over a large area, and each of the paladins were too distracted to even think about forming Voltron.

_“Hunk, on your left!”_ Lance called out, spotting a ship charging towards Hunk. Lance rushed towards him and fired a shot at the ship, but as he did so he accidentally got in Shiro’s path. Shiro, who was about to shoot another Galra ship, quickly redirected the shot.

_“What do you think you’re doing_?!” Shiro yelled, losing his temper. _“Do you think before you do anything, Lance?!”_

Lance felt like crying, and he quickly looked to Hunk for support. However, Hunk had already sped away, and he was left alone. _“I’m sorry, there was just-”_

_“Of course, there was something!”_ Shiro shouted. _“There’s always something with you! Do you ever stop to think that none of the other paladins do this?!”_

_“Lay off him, Shiro,”_ Keith cut in, his voice sharp, but the damage was already done. Lance sped away, as far away from the other paladins as possible, aiming to reach the other side of the planet where there was a larger number of Galra ships. “ _Lance, stop! There’s no back-up over there!”_

_“It’s fine, I’ll be careful,”_ Lance dismissed, but just as the words left his mouth, something crashed into him and his world went black.

-

When Lance woke up, his mind felt fuzzy. As far as he could tell, he was in a healing pod, and the team was at the other end of the room, huddled in a group. Automatically, he remembered the time Hunk had been hurt in battle, and the entire team had waited for an hour by his pod for him to wake up.

_They’re probably just talking about something important,_ Lance told himself, walking over to the team. However, they were laughing, and Hunk was saying, “Lance just can’t stay out of the pods, can he?”

“Hey, everyone!” He forced a smile. “How long was I out for?”

“An hour,” Allura said. “Lance, that was very reckless of you! Why would you just charge over to the Galra without any back-up?! In what universe would that possibly work?”

“Trying to be the solo hero only works in movies,” Pidge scolded. “And because of that, the Galra took over the planet!”

“What? Why?” Lance asked, shocked. He ignored the little voice in the back of his mind that was saying, _You failed them. You’re always the one that gets injured, and they always have to turn back for you._

“Well, we had to get you back here, didn’t we?” Pidge said, looking at him angrily over her glasses. “You should have waited for one of us to come help you!”

“I thought I could do it,” Lance said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. _You failed them._ “I was only trying to do my job, you know.”

“In that case, you are definitely failing at your job,” Pidge scoffed, and as she turned away Lance thought that he heard her whisper, “How Blue chose you, I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry,” Lance turned away, his voice thick. _You failed them._ He felt as if something was lodged in his throat.

“Next time, just wait for us, alright?” Keith said, gently, putting his hand on Lance’s shoulder.

Ordinarily, Lance would have appreciated the contact, but now he just wanted to be alone. Lance shrugged off Keith’s hand and walked towards his bedroom. However, Shiro called out, “Wait!” For one brilliant moment, Lance thought that Shiro was going to apologize and say that Lance was actually a meaningful and valued member of the team, but Shiro just said, “Don’t run around too much, you’ve just healed.”

_You failed them. It’s your fault._

-

Lance lay in his bed, his face buried in his pillow. Everything was his fault.

He knew that he shouldn’t have gone to the Galra-infested side of the planet without back-up, but at the time he was just set on proving to the team that he could achieve things by himself.

_You obviously didn’t._

It just made him feel worse when he thought of how much the planet had looked like Earth; he felt as if it was his home, his family that had been taken over by the Galra.

_It’s your fault._

Suddenly, Lance heard a knock at his door, and the door was pushed open. When Lance raised his head from the pillow, with his blurred vision he mistook the person for Keith and his heart skipped a beat, but when he pulled himself upright and rubbed his eyes it turned out to be Shiro.

“Can I come in?” Shiro asked, and Lance nodded so Shiro walked in and sat on the corner of the bed. “I’m sorry. I think we were a little harsh on you earlier.”

“It’s fine, I didn’t mind,” Lance said, and then he mentally slapped himself. The way he phrased the sentence made it sound as if he was okay with being so mistreated by the team.

_Maybe you are okay with it._

“No, we shouldn’t have been so rude.” Shiro shook his head, abashed. “Seriously. We’re all really sorry.”

“It’s fine, Shiro,” Lance dismissed.

“That’s good, then,” Shiro said, standing up. “Can you get ready, now? We’re going on another mission.”

Lance could hear the added layer of meaning under his words.

_Don’t mess this one up._

-

As Lance walked into the hangar, he noticed Keith standing there, staring at him.

“Keith?” Lance asked, puzzled. “You alright?”

Keith let out a breath, and looked at the ground, then back at Lance. “I just- I have a bad feeling about this one.”

Hunk – who had been walking past and heard Keith’s last sentence – laughed and clapped Keith on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, buddy. Nothing bad will happen. To us, at least! The Galra are going down!”

Keith didn’t say anything, so Hunk walked off to the Yellow Lion.

Lance knew it wasn’t wise to ignore a gut instinct. “What do you mean?”

“I just have a bad feeling,” Keith echoed, and an uneasy feeling settled in Lance’s stomach.

“In that case, be careful, alright?” Lance said softly. Keith gave him a look that Lance had never seen on him before; a soft, affectionate gaze, and it was nothing like what he would have expected of Keith.

“You too,” Keith murmured, and then he turned away as if he was embarrassed.

“Wait, Keith-” Lance reached out to stop Keith. Keith looked at him, and he looked almost scared. Lance took a deep breath. “Please be careful.”

“Careful? Me?” Keith gave him a wry smile, and Lance laughed.

“Well, just for this time, alright?” Lance ventured.

“I’m not the one to be worried about,” Keith said, his tone teasing. “Weren’t you the one that almost fell asleep in the lion the other day and almost hit Allura?”

_There it is,_ Lance sighed internally. Though Keith had clearly intended the words to be light-hearted, every time someone mentioned it a heavy feeling settled in his heart.

It was as if all that anyone talked about was his mistakes anymore.

Keith’s expression softened. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Lance said, faking a wide smile. “I’m alright.”

“Sometimes it’s okay to not be alright,” Keith said quietly.

Before he could stop himself, he reached out and took Keith’s hand. Keith looked at him in surprise.

“Sorry,” Lance said immediately, pulling away, but Keith stepped closer and took Lance’s hand again.

“It’s alright. I need some comfort, too,” Keith said softly. Keith’s hand was warm and slightly sweaty, and just the feeling of Keith’s hand in his sent butterflies flying in Lance’s stomach. He wanted to kiss Keith so badly. They were close enough to. If Lance just leaned forward a little…

But he shouldn’t. Lance swallowed nervously and stepped back, unlacing his hand from Keith’s. “Thanks.”

Forcing himself to forget what had happened a few minutes ago, Lance got into his lion, and then the paladins shot off into space, making their way towards the planet. After half an hour, they could see the planet from afar.

This planet was larger than the previous one. It was colored a dark purple, decorated with swirls of pink and blue. Lance couldn’t help but think of how beautiful it was; it was as if some celestial being had decided to paint a blank ball with the most beautiful colors they could, and Lance was struck with a sudden urge to protect this beautiful, innocent planet.

However, the Galra were rapidly approaching, purple as the planet but a far angrier purple. Again, it was clear that their technology had been even further developed, and they began shooting bright blue lasers towards the paladins.

_“Form Voltron!”_ Shiro’s voice rang out, loud and clear. The lions rushed together, but just as they prepared to form Voltron, the largest ship shot their cannon directly towards the center of their formation. Immediately, the paladins rushed apart to avoid the shot.

“Guys, we have to hold them off for a bit before we form Voltron!” Lance called out, firing several shots at the largest ship, and then diving to avoid the retaliation. He tried attacking the ship from behind, but it turned out to have rear cannons as well, and Lance rushed away again.

_“Thank you, Captain Obvious!”_ Pidge said, sarcastic. _“Maybe give us some more useful input? Like how to hold them off?”_

_“Don’t, Pidge,”_ Keith instantly said.

“No, she’s right,” Lance said as he looped around back to attack the ship from the front again. “I think we need to focus on the largest ship.” Just as he was about to say something else, the ship fired at him again and he quickly dodged the beam. “I’m kinda stuck here. Some help, please? Pidge? Hunk?”

_“Sorry, I’m busy here,”_ Pidge said, and Lance could see her in the distance struggling with two ships at once. Hunk didn’t reply, but Lance didn’t blame him, as he could see Hunk dealing with a few ships of his own.

_“Coming for back-up,”_ Keith said, zooming towards Lance and dodging a few other ships. He was firing shots in every direction, and ships were blowing up all around them.

Lance felt as if someone was squeezing his heart. Keith would never love him back.

“Thanks, buddy.” Lance cleared his throat, trying to ignore the feeling bubbling in his chest, threatening to spill. And then he couldn’t stop himself. “Keith?”

Keith made a non-committal noise that Lance took to mean ‘go on’.

“Keith, I l-” Lance didn’t get to finish the sentence.

A huge cannon shot hit his lion, and he was sent spinning into space.

Then, he was pulled back, and he was crashing through the atmosphere of the planet.

He tried to call for help, but he was going so fast he couldn’t do anything but freeze in fear.

The lion crashed down on the ground like a dropping corpse, half-buried in the wet ground, under a leafy roof of palm fronds.

Sirens were blaring.

Alert lights were flashing, as red as the blood now pouring out of him, as if a brutal, murderous tap had been turned on. His whole body was set alight, every inch of his skin burning in the most horrible way. He forced his eyelids open long enough to see the huge gash across his chest before his eyelids fell shut. His eyes felt as if they were being pulled in a thousand different directions, and he was sure that the blood vessels had burst.

He felt as if all of his organs had burst, and everything was now rushing out of him. He still couldn’t open his eyes, and a sudden panic struck him. He didn’t want to die in the dark. He didn’t want to die all alone, surrounding by the horrible, treacherous darkness.

As if answering his prayers, the com flickered to life.

_“Lance, where are you? I need back-up,”_ A voice that Lance was pretty sure was Pidge said. _“Lance! Are you serious right now?!”_

_“Lance, answer us!”_ Shiro commanded. _“Lance, answer!”_

Lance tried to say something, but only blood slipped out of his mouth.

_“Where the Quiznak are you?!”_ Allura exclaimed. _“Lance, what are you doing? Answer!”_

_“Calm down, guys,”_ Hunk said comfortingly. _“He probably just got distracted by something. I heard that there’s a neighboring planet near here that has a lot of clubs!”_

A pang of pain shot through Lance’s heart, and he didn’t know if it was from the crash or from Hunk’s words. Was that really what Hunk thought of him?

_“Lance, stop messing around and answer us!”_ Shiro sounded angrier now. “ _This is exactly what we told you not to do!”_

_“Goddamn it, Lance, what are you doing?!”_ Pidge’s voice was deafening, and Lance winced as her voice pierced through his bleeding skull. 

He didn’t want to die in the dark.

He forced his eyes open again, and he wanted to vomit at the sight. He was right.

His organs had burst, and he could see a disgusting mush flowing out of him, covering his body and mixing with the blood. The armor was probably the only thing keeping him together.

Then, a concerned voice rang out over the intercom, drowning out the other paladins, who were all yelling at him. “ _Lance! Where are you?”_

Lance’s lips formed the name, but no sound came out. He tried to say it again, but nothing came out except a puff of breath. Then, again. And again. And again. Finally, the word came out. “Keith.”

_“Oh, Lance!”_ Keith sounded as if he was crying now. “ _Oh, God, Lance, are you alright?”_

“Keith,” Lance repeated, closing his eyes and listening to Keith’s voice. His beautiful voice. Maybe dying wouldn’t be so bad if he could listen to that gorgeous voice the last traces of life ebbed out of him.

“ _Are you alright?”_ Keith was full on crying, and Lance’s heart wrenched at the sound _. “Oh, God, Lance, are you alright?”_

Lance imagined Keith in his head, imagined his messy hair and his focused, intense eyes. “Keith,” he croaked out again.

“ _Allura, track the blue lion’s location!”_ Keith commanded. _“Lance was hit, and I don’t know where he is now!”_

_“This wouldn’t have happened if you just stayed with the rest of us, Lance!”_ Allura scolded. _“You can’t keep doing this, you’re endangering the rest of the team, not to mention all the people on that planet that depend on us!”_

_“It’ll be your fault if we fail,”_ Pidge accused.

Tears were stinging the corner’s of Lance’s eyes. “Keith.”

“ _Lance! What is it? Are you alright?”_ Keith’s voice was more panicked than ever, and Lance could almost imagine the look he always had on his face whenever he got worried. All pink cheeks and intense eyes.

“Keith.” Lance could feel the life crawling out of him, bit by bit. He didn’t feel anything anymore.

He was completely numb.

“ _Lance! Lance, do you copy? Do you copy?”_ Keith called out, over and over again.

_“Just leave him, Keith. I’m sure he’s fine and he’s just looking for our attention or something,”_ Pidge laughed bitingly.

_“Again, if we lose this battle, it’s your fault, Lance, so you’d better reveal yourself soon,”_ Allura reminded him.

_“Why don’t you ever listen!”_ Shiro shouted. _“If you actually listened to us and stayed here, we could have defeated them by now!”_

_“You're a failure!”_ Pidge exclaimed.

“Keith,” Lance just said again. He wondered if his family would miss him.

“ _Don’t listen to them!”_ Keith yelled instantly. “ _Stay with us! Stay with me! Stay with me, Lance.”_ Keith gasped for air, and choked back a sob. _“Stay with me.”_

“Keith, I-”

Lance didn’t get to finish his sentence.

_They won’t miss me anyway._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually made myself cry writing this; normally I'm a sucker for fluff and I never read angst, let alone write it, but this langst au really pulled me in. I took the AU from [promptsforvoltron](https://promptsforvoltron.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr so many thanks to them for letting me use this prompt! :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Here is the anticipated sequel :)

Keith had never felt so cold.

Rain was falling down, cold and sharp as icicles, and the only thing going through his mind was how badly Lance had wanted to see rain. _And now he couldn’t._

The other paladins had gathered around the fallen lion, but Keith couldn’t. The metallic smell of blood was in the air, and he could smell it even from several meters away. He didn’t want his last image of Lance to be a lifeless, torn body. Lance was more than that. Lance was the most alive person he had ever known. _And now he wasn’t._

Loud wails shook him out of his daze, and he closed his eyes, knowing that they had found the body. _The_ body. Not Lance’s body. He couldn’t bring himself to think of such a destroyed thing as Lance. Though he hadn’t actually seen it, he knew what happened when someone crashed down from space straight to the ground so quickly.

He shuddered. _That wasn’t Lance._

He could sense movement coming towards him, but he still didn’t open his eyes.

“We found him,” A voice choked out, raw and destroyed. Keith couldn’t tell who it was. He had never heard any of his teammates sound so broken. “Shiro’s bringing him out now.”

“That’s not him,” Keith whispered, his eyes still closed.

“I’m so sorry,” The voice said, and Keith sensed them sitting beside him. “At least you were there for him.” They let out a sob. “I blamed everything on him. I said he was just looking for attention. I- Oh, God. The last thing he ever heard was me telling him that he was a failure.”

“No.” Keith clenched his fists. “The last thing he ever heard was me telling him to stay with me. And he didn’t.” He leapt to his feet, opening his eyes. He was still turned away from the fallen lion. “He didn’t! If he didn’t try to take down that huge ship this wouldn’t have happened! If he just didn’t always try to be the hero he would still be here! It’s his fault!”

“No, it’s not,” The voice said, who Keith now knew was Pidge. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s his fault!” Keith gasped out, his lungs suddenly devoid of air. He collapsed on his knees again. “It’s his fault. It’s- it’s my fault.” His breath was coming in quick pants and there was something inside his ribcage banging to be let out. “It’s my fault. It’s my fault!” He screamed it the last time. “I did this! I did this to him! I should have gotten in the way instead!”

“No, Keith.” Pidge was crying again. “It’s my fault. He died trying to prove himself to me.”

“I should have stopped him!” Keith yelled, his voice cracking. “I should have stopped him.” His body was racked with sobs. “I did this. I did this to him.”

“No, you didn’t!” Pidge managed to say. “He-”

“He’s dead because of me!” Keith screamed. Dead. He had say it.

Lance was dead.

And something inside Keith had died as well.

Keith felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes to see Allura standing beside them.

“It’s not any of our faults,” Allura said evenly, but her voice was quiet and shaky. Keith just shook his head. Allura sniffed. “I was so mean to him. And I can never say sorry.”

“Neither can I.” Pidge’s small body was shaking.

“Lance would have wanted us to be strong. For him,” Allura said gently, wiping away her tears. “Especially you, Keith. He loved you, you know.”

Keith shook his head again, almost desperately. “Please don’t. Don’t say that.”

“He died hearing your voice. It’s what he would have wanted.” Allura sniffed again. Her cheeks were red and blotchy.

“Please don’t.” Keith couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this.

_Ships were exploding all around Keith, but all he could focus on was the blue lion spiraling downwards onto the planet. “Lance!”_

_There was no reply._

_“Lance, where are you?”_

_There was a moment of silence before a shaky voice answered. “Keith.”_

_Keith wanted to cry in relief. “Oh, Lance! Oh, God, Lance, are you alright?”_

_“Keith.” Lance’s voice was dazed, as if he were in a dream. Or a nightmare._

_Terror seized Keith’s heart. “Are you alright? Oh, God, Lance, are you alright?”_

“ _Keith,” Lance just said. Keith couldn’t breathe, and his hands were shaking terribly. Then, he remembered that the lions were trackable, and he could just check for the blue lion’s location._

_“Allura, track the blue lion’s location!” Keith yelled. “Lance was hit, and I don’t know where he is now!”_

_Allura simply yelled out reprimands, and the team joined her. Keith had never felt so angry. Lance was hit, possibly in grave danger, and they were insulting him?!_

_“Keith,” Lance breathed out again, and Keith’s heart stopped._

“ _Lance! What is it? Are you alright?”_

_“Keith,” Lance’s voice was nothing more than a whisper._

_“Lance! Lance, do you copy? Do you copy?” Keith yelled blindly, praying desperately for Lance to be safe._

_“Just leave him, Keith. I’m sure he’s fine and he’s just looking for our attention or something,” Pidge was laughing, and Keith’s vision was filled with red. The team were still complaining about Lance._

_“Keith.” Lance’s voice was feeble and weak._

“ _Don’t listen to them!” Keith yelled instantly. “Stay with us! Stay with me! Stay with me, Lance.” Keith gasped for air, and choked back a sob. He felt as if his lungs had collapsed. “Stay with me.”_

_“Keith, I-” Lance’s voice died out, and something inside Keith died._

_“Lance! Lance!” He just yelled Lance’s name over and over again, until Allura told them that she found the blue lion’s location._

“Come on, Keith. We have to go.” Allura was talking again, and Keith was pulled back into the present. He faced her.

“Where is he?” Keith managed to say, taking a deep breath.

Allura hesitated. “Maybe you shouldn’t look.”

“I want to see him.” Keith was adamant. Allura sighed and looked over at Shiro. Shiro was carrying Lance in his arms, and some sort of blanket had been thrown over Lance. The blue blanket was stained red, dark enough to be brown. Keith sprinted towards Shiro, who clutched Lance protectively.

“Let me see him,” Keith pleaded. The blanket was covering Lance’s face as well.

“That’s not a good idea.” Shiro sounded tortured, and his eyes were bloodshot. “Don’t, Keith. He wouldn’t want you to see him like this.”

“Please,” Keith begged. “Please. I need to see him.”

Shiro sighed, and for a moment he was just another teenager, lost in a war much bigger than all of them. Then, he was Shiro again. “We’re going to put him in the healing pod.” He swallowed hard. “It won’t- it won’t bring him back, but it will hopefully heal his injuries. Don’t see him like this, Keith,” Shiro added.

Keith’s voice was hollow when he spoke. “Is it really bad?”

It was as if the mask Shiro had been wearing had fallen off. His face was contorted in grief and it took him several tries to get the words out. “He’s- he’s not human anymore, Keith.”

-

When they arrived back at the castle, Shiro sent Keith out of the room as he put Lance in the healing pod. So, Keith went to Lance’s room.

The room looked strangely unlived in; there were no personal items or decorations. The bed, however, was unmade and Lance’s favorite jacket was thrown over the pillows. Hesitantly, Keith walked over to the bed and lay down, picking up the jacket. It still smelled like Lance.

He couldn’t cry anymore. Though he wanted to, wanted to release all of the grief inside of him, the tears wouldn’t come, and he just stayed still, letting the grief wash over him.

Keith couldn’t think of anything except Lance’s last words to him. Or maybe Lance’s last words to the world. _Keith, I-_

What was he about to say?

_It doesn’t matter,_ he told himself, clutching the jacket tightly. _It won’t bring him back._

Everything had happened so quickly. He couldn’t believe that only a few hours ago, he had been talking with Lance.

_Lance had a peculiar glint in his eyes, and he leaned forward as if he was about to kiss Keith. Then, he bit his lip and stepped back._

If Keith had just closed the distance between them, maybe Lance would have tried harder to stay alive.

If Keith had just told Lance how much Lance meant to him, how much he wanted to be with him, how much he loved him, maybe Lance would be beside him right now.

Then, there was a knock at the door, and Allura walked in.

“Are you alright?” She asked quietly, resting her hand on the door frame.

Keith didn’t reply.

“I’m so sorry,” She said. “I wish this didn’t happen.” _I wish this didn’t happen._ It was such a simple, straightforward phrase, but it was enough. _I wish this didn’t happen._

Keith wanted to say something. He wanted to be strong for the team, but he was falling apart.

“I just wanted to tell you that he’s out of the pod,” Allura said. “If you want to see him now, you can. They’re all in the lounge.” Then, she left.

Slowly, Keith dragged himself out of the bed. Pulling on the jacket, he went to the castle lounge.  

There, laid out on one of the sofas, was Lance.

Immediately, Keith rushed to him. Lance was just as beautiful as ever, with his soft brown hair. His bright blue eyes were hidden by closed eyelids, and Keith swallowed hard at the realization that he would never see Lance’s eyes again. Lance’s armor was off, and he almost looked like he was sleeping. Keith sensed the other paladins leaving the room to give him some privacy.

“Lance,” Keith whispered, kneeling beside Lance. He reached out to stroke Lance’s soft hair and tears formed at the corners of his eyes. Keith blinked hard, not allowing himself to cry.

He wished so badly that Lance would wake up and say that he loved Keith back. But he would never wake again. “My Lance.” He breathed the name, and it already tasted foreign on his tongue.

He took a deep breath before continuing. “I love you. I loved you even at the Garrison, you know? Even back when we first met. You were the first person that I trusted with my heart. I mean, even if we never got together, I still gave it to you. It’s yours. It will always be yours.”

Keith leaned over and kissed Lance on the forehead, then on his lips. “I love you. Always.”

Lance’s lips were cold, and Keith couldn’t help but remember how warm Lance’s hand had been when he held it in his.

His heart felt hollow, as if there was a gaping hole in his chest. He would never get to see Lance’s beautiful eyes again, never hear his cheerful voice again.

Keith closed his eyes.

Something had shattered inside him.

-

_I want to die._

The denial had passed, and now Keith was drowning in the waves of pain, crashing against him, trying to wear him down.

_I want to die._

He couldn’t deal with this. He couldn’t deal with this. He couldn’t deal with this.

Currently, they were keeping Lance in his own room, and the thought of Lance being all alone was sickening. However, Keith couldn’t bring himself to go to Lance and see him so cold, so lifeless.

_If I give my own life, will he come back?_

Keith ran at the sparring bot again, forcing himself to hit harder and dodge faster.

“Keith, I have to tell you something,” Someone said from behind him. He spun around to see Coran standing there.

“What?” Keith asked, wiping away his sweat. _I want to die._

Coran hesitated.

“Well?” Keith snapped. “I haven’t got all day.”

Coran looked injured, but he spoke. “Well, I’ve been doing a lot of reading after, you know, but- well, there’s really no easy way to say this. I think there might be a way to bring Lance back.”

Keith froze. “What?”

“Apparently, there’s this new piece of Altean technology that has been developed, and it can regenerate brain cells to essentially bring someone back to life.” Coran explained.

Keith didn’t say anything. Then, he said, “And the person’s memories?”

Coran nodded excitedly. “The person’s memories remain untouched. So, as far as I know, there are no negative side effects.”

Keith didn’t know what to say. It sounded too good to be true, and he wondered if Coran was just playing some sick prank on him. “Are you serious?”

“Yes!” Coran exclaimed. “In fact, the princess is currently trying to attain the machine now!”

“Does it involve quintessence?” Keith glanced over at Lance’s jacket, which he had taken off whilst training.

“Not as far as I know.” Coran shook his head.

Keith didn’t allow himself to get his hopes up. “Tell me if she manages to get it.” Then, he turned back to the sparring bot.

He heard Coran sigh sadly behind him.

_I want to die._

-

“So, let me get this straight. You found something that would bring Lance back to life, but the people who have it aren’t letting us have it?” Shiro slammed his hands on the table. “Why not?”

“They say that they require some sort of sacrifice,” Coran said, panicked. Everyone was sitting around in the lounge, and they were discussing the newfound technology.

“I’ll do it,” Keith said instantly. “I’ll sacrifice myself.”

“No!” Shiro refused. “We’ll find another way.”

“You know Lance wouldn’t want that.” Allura frowned, her eyebrows furrowing.

“Does anyone have anything really valuable that they would accept?” Hunk asked in general. “I mean, one valuable thing’s as good as another, right?”

“I don’t know,” Coran said doubtfully, “This alien species seems to demand more of the sentimental stuff.”

“Memories?” Pidge questioned. “I have plenty I’d like to give away.”

“Perhaps.” Coran thought for a moment.

“Where is this planet? I’ll go talk to them,” Keith spoke up. Instantly, Shiro shook his head.

“No, you’re not going alone. You might try to sacrifice your own life,” Shiro accused.

“Then one of you come with me.” Keith’s voice was hoarse and his eyes were swollen. “Please. Please let me.”

“I’m not sure…” Shiro deliberated.

“I can’t live like this!” Keith suddenly yelled, leaping to his feet. The walls he had built around himself were crashing down, and all his grief was bursting out. “I can’t live like this! I’m broken, can’t you see! I’m broken! There’s nothing left for me to live for except him!”

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Then-

“Fine.” Shiro nodded, pained. “I’ll go with you. Allura, set course for their planet. Keith will go talk to them.”

A few hours later, they had arrived at the planet. Keith and Shiro were in a meeting room with the leader of the alien species, who looked like a mix between a human and a snake.

“Have you decided?” The leader hissed in anticipation. “The sacrifice?”

“No,” Keith said, scowling. “No sacrifices. It’s Altean technology anyway. You’re not Altean. Princess Allura is the rightful owner of it.”

“Ah, yes, but we found it,” The leader said, laughing. “And why not benefit from it?”

“If you won’t listen to logic, let me tell you this.” Keith closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again. The creature inside his ribcage had started banging around again, and Keith’s throat thickened. His hands trembled.

“Let me tell you this. I have not had a happy life. I don’t know where my human parents are, I’m half Galra, and trust me, I’ve been kicked out of more schools than you can count. But then one day, I went to the Garrison, and there I met Lance. I fell in love with him almost instantly, and of course I assumed that he would never love me back. And then we were sent up into space together, and I’m pretty sure he hated me for a while. However, we became close, and he learned to trust me. I trusted him from Day One. He makes me smile every day, and he makes me feel alive. Do you know how much that means?”

Now Keith was raising his voice. “I live my life going around like a zombie, alive but not living. And he showed me how to live! And then the stupid Galra Empire took him away from me!” Keith held back tears. “They took him away, and I just want him back. My brave, beautiful, amazing Lance. My sunshine. Please. My teammates won’t let me give my life, but just know that if I could, I would. Please. Please, just give us the technology. And let me tell you this.”

Keith pointed at a ceremonial sword hanging on the wall. “If you won’t give it to us, I’ll get that sword and stab myself with it right now. Because my life had no meaning until I met him, and it has no meaning without him.”

Shiro stiffened at Keith’s last words, but the alien leader looked close to tears.

“Oh, my,” The leader said, sniffing, his tail sweeping the ground behind him. “I have never seen such devotion. Fine. I’ll give you the technology. Just promise to never let go of that boy, alright?”

“I promise.” Keith nodded. Shiro sighed in relief.

-

“Coran, we got it,” Shiro announced, and Coran almost collapsed in relief. “But Keith and I don’t know how to use it, so could you operate it? It’s some sort of machine, we left it in the Black Lion’s hangar.”

“Ah, that’s the thing.” Coran smiled sheepishly. “I don’t actually know how to use it either. The princess and I are checking our databases. But don’t worry, we’ll find out! We’re at the section that involves regenerating technology so we’re just trying to work out how it actually works.”

“Why can’t it just work now?!” Keith demanded, crossing his arms and scowling.

“We don’t know how to operate it,” Coran reminded. “If you would like to try, be my guest.”

Keith made a frustrated sound.

“I know you’re impatient, Keith, but there’s nothing we can do about it,” Allura said, matter-of-factly.

Keith just stared at her in disbelief. Had she already moved on so quickly?

And the others. Had they moved on so quickly?

Could they sleep without seeing Lance in their dreams? Could they eat without remembering that the food was Lance’s favorite? Could they look out at the stars without thinking of how Lance would spend hours staring at the stars?

_Why aren’t you broken like me?_

It was as if Lance was nothing more than one more light in the sky of a thousand stars.

But he was the brightest star, and without him Keith’s sky was completely dark.

-

Keith was in Lance’s bed again. They had taken Lance out of the room so they could put him in the machine, and Shiro had again refused to let Keith in the room. So, he stayed in Lance’s room.

He was wearing Lance’s jacket; he had refused to take it off. Though he had been wearing it for so long, it still smelled like Lance, and if he closed his eyes he could imagine that it was Lance wrapping his arms around him, keeping him safe.

The machine would have to work. Because if it didn’t, Keith would be even more broken than before.

But if it did work- Keith’s heart leapt at the thought. He would see Lance again. He would tell Lance how much he loved him a thousand times, and he would make sure that no one ever hurt Lance ever again. Both physically and emotionally.

Suddenly, there was banging at the door and Allura burst in. “Keith, Keith!” She yelled, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks pink. “He’s awake, he’s awake!”

Keith had never moved so fast. He jumped out of the bed and sprinted down the corridor, wishing for the first time that the castle was smaller. Then he reached the lounge.

Lance.

Lance was standing there.

Lance was standing there, with his soft brown hair and his bright blue eyes, and Keith suddenly couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything but stare at Lance.

Lance smiled self-consciously, and said, “Hey, mullet.”

Keith’s face broke into a splitting smile, and he ran towards Lance, throwing his arms around him. “Lance.”

“Keith,” Lance said gently, tightening his arms around Keith. “Did you miss me?”

“So much.” Keith was tearing up. “I missed you so much. I thought I was going to die.”

“Honestly, I think I died a hella lot more than you did,” Lance teased, and his smile lit up his face like sun rays.

“Shut up,” Keith mumbled, still blinking back tears. “I missed you so much.”

Lance looked down at Keith and grinned. “So, are you going to kiss me or what?”

 Keith leaned up and kissed Lance, and it was soft and sweet and Lance didn’t taste like anything except _Lance._ They were pressed together, and Lance’s lips were warm, kissing him back like their lives depended on it. It felt so right, and Keith wondered why they hadn’t done this before. Keith put one of his hands in Lance’s hair, and it was even softer than it had been before, like cloud wisps.

“Is that my jacket?” Lance murmured against Keith’s lips, his hand at the small of Keith’s back.

“Maybe,” Keith replied awkwardly. “Sorry.”

Lance pulled away for a moment to smirk at Keith before kissing him again. “Keep it. It looks a lot better on you.”

“Thanks,” Keith breathed, his heart fluttering. He blushed. “I just- it smelled like you, so…”

“Aww, that’s so cute!” Lance gazed at Keith, a gaze full of affection and adoration. “You’re going to have to start wearing my clothes more.”

Keith mock pouted. “Oh, am I?”

“Yes,” Lance informed him, “It’s a necessary part of being my boyfriend. Wearing my hoodies.”

Keith smiled at the word ‘boyfriend’. “I thought you were supposed to stop me from stealing your clothes?”

“How could I, when you look so cute in them?”

Keith laughed and kissed Lance again, lacing their hands together. “I missed you so much. Don’t ever leave me again.”

“I won’t,” Lance promised. “Till death do us part.” Then, he grinned. “Well, even after death, right?”

“First of all, that’s a horrible joke,” Keith complained, but he couldn’t keep the frown on his face. “So I’m going to ignore the fact that you basically just proposed.”

“Or, you could not ignore it?” Lance suggested, and he looked adorably nervous.

“Good idea,” Keith said, happier than he could ever remember being. “Yes. Till death do us part. For as long as you’ll have me.”

“That’s going to be a long time.” Lance breathed out in relief, and his smile was brighter than every single star floating past outside the castle.

“I’m alright with that,” Keith said, and he couldn’t help but kiss Lance again. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Lance swept back Keith’s hair and kissed his forehead. It was a simple gesture of affection, and Keith wondered how every second, he could fall even more in love with Lance. Then, something occurred to him.

“Lance?”

“Yeah?”

“What were you about to say when,” Keith swallowed hard, “When…” He couldn’t force the words out.

“Oh.” Lance clearly understood. He thought for a moment, and then he laughed. “I was about to say that I loved you. Clearly, the universe had other plans.”

“Oh.” Keith squeezed Lance’s hand. “Well, screw the universe.”

“I don’t know,” Lance said playfully. “After all, the universe did bring me here.”

“Nah, that was all me,” Keith dismissed. “I had to go talk to this weird snake human leader and convince him to give me this machine without sacrifi- anyway, it’s a long story. It can wait.”

“It can wait,” Lance agreed, leaning down to kiss Keith again. They were swaying on the spot as if dancing to silent music, and Lance’s kisses tasted like sunshine.

Surrounded by stars, kissing the warmest boy in the universe, Keith had never been so happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this!! I just couldn't leave it with a sad ending, so I decided to end it like this! I hope you enjoyed :)


End file.
